We do a lot of art history, and I feel like I make it fun, but I’m always looking for new things to do. So I figured today that we should discount artistic endeavors and artistic merit to just focus on the attractiveness of our artists. My seniors know (almost) all these artists, and we talked some about their art, but today we’re mostly just being vapid. After checking out the men yesterday, we’re on to part two of our two-part series: Hotties of Art History.
I used mostly my own art history knowledge, and some pictures I had saved, but I also hit up the always fantastic Hotties of Art History Tumblr in order to find the last few resources I needed.
(Disclaimer: I always used the best picture I could find. For example, the less facial hair and the thinner the unibrow on Frida Kahlo, the better.)
We ranked these as a class, which started up a lot of debate and discussion (higher order thinking skills, right?), leading us to the Top 10 Female Hotties of Art History:
10. Frida Kahlo
Bonus Points For: The confidence to fill in that luscious, full unibrow on every self-portrait she painted.
Downgraded For: That same luscious, full unibrow.
9. Eva Hesse
Bonus Points For: Being all cutesy and girly and stuff.
Downgraded For: You saw that hat, right?
8. Ana Mendieta
Bonus Points For: Being one of Bogatz’s all-time favorite artists.
Downgraded For: Picking that white turtleneck out of the closet.
7. Elaine de Kooning
Bonus Points For: Painting well, cute bangs, and having a husband that ranks highly on the Men’s list.
Downgraded For: Eyebrows that look like they belong to a cartoon character.
6. Bridget Riley
Bonus Points For: With this background and her look, she couldn’t be any more 1960s.
Downgraded For: Using assistants to make most of her paintings. We’re having trouble getting over that.
5. Maya Lin
Bonus Points For: Designing the Vietnam Memorial, one of the greatest artworks of the 20th century. Also, she’s gorgeous.
Downgraded For: Nothing. We don’t criticize the person who designed the Vietnam Memorial.
4. Helen Frankenthaler
Bonus Points For: Being straight up classy. Her look, like her paintings, just has a quiet sophistication.
Downgraded For: True fashionistas don’t allow themselves to be photographed wearing aprons.
3. Marina Abramovic
Bonus Points For: Those eyes. Those lips. Then those eyes again.
Downgraded For: Performance art that’s a little bit insane. She’s like the female version of Chris Burden.
2. Cindy Sherman
Bonus Points For: High cheekbones and an incredible oeuvre of self-portrait photography.
1. Marisol Escobar
Bonus Points For: Having the look of a classic beauty. We especially like her dark eyes and salon quality hair.
Downgraded For: Nothing. But have you ever met anyone who actually likes her sculptures?